What does it feel like to be the AdultLeader and does it matter?

It feels good to be the AdultLeader when we make choices in life and work that support our identity and values. It feels good to be the person we want to be for ourselves, our families and our organizations.

As an executive coach, I see clients who struggle with the stress and pressure of their “always on” lives and the effect that has on their ability to integrate their life and work in a way that allows them
• to feel more confident about the job they are doing and the leader they are being
• to be more present and engaged when they are home with their families
• to reduce stress and worry, sleep better, and exercise more

There is always a better feeling associated with those outcomes. It may be relief, inner peace, satisfaction, excitement, passion and joy. We all want to be happy. That is almost always the reason behind anything we want.

By paying attention to what we are feeling we can be alerted to what is working and what needs to change. Our feelings are feedback from our real self or AdultLeader.

1. It feels good to be the AdultLeader when we choose to respond in a way that supports our identity and values, or that define who we want to be and what is most important to us. As a result, we are authentically and effectively bringing our real self into the world, and are most likely getting a result we want.

2. It feels bad when we react in a way that ignores our identity and values. In this case, our idealized self or system is making choices for us while we sit uncomfortably in the back seat. We need to get into the driver’s seat and change direction if we are going to get where we want.

So, if you are willing slow down a little and pay more attention to what you are feeling, you can use this as an indicator that will let you know –

1. That you are heading in the right direction because you feel good

2. Or that a different choice is beckoning to you because you feel bad.

Here are some questions for you:

1. What is something you are struggling with right now?

2. If you were to imagine yourself feeling good about it, what would you be doing differently?

3. What is really important to you about this?

4. What will your AdultLeader do and by when?

Thanks for reading. Please feel free to share your comments or questions.