Close the Leadership Gap

Choose to Be Present.  You can practice interrupting your habits by using the emotion you are feeling as a guide to your AdultLeader.

  1. It feels good to be the AdultLeader when we choose to respond in a way that supports our identity and values, or that defines who we want to be and what is most important to us. As a result, we are authentically and effectively bringing our real self into the world, and are most likely getting a result we want.
  2. It feels bad when we react in a way that ignores our identity and values. In this case, our idealized self or system is making choices for us while we sit uncomfortably in the back seat. We need to get into the driver’s seat and change direction if we are going to get where we want to go.



I realize I am feeling a negative emotion like frustration, anger, and/or hopelessness about a current situation, problem, challenge, or opportunity. That’s OK. This is a signal that there is a gap between my current thinking and behavior and what I am capable of as my AdultLeader, so I…

  1. Stop and ask myself –
    • What is the current situation, challenge, problem or opportunity I am facing?
    • What result do I want to get? And why do I want this result?
      Recognize that in order to get this result and close the feeling gap, I will need to change my current thinking (perception, belief, expectation, or assumption) and behavior (habit) about the current situation.
  2. Clarify the new thinking and behavior that is more likely to get me this result and be consistent with the leader or person I want to be.
    Explore what my AdultLeader knows about this current situation, challenge, problem or opportunity.

    • How is my AdultLeader viewing it? What is most important about it? What do I want to accomplish? Who do I want to be in this situation?
    • What is my AdultLeader telling me to do next?
  3. Take action based on the guidance of my AdultLeader.
  4. Notice the external result. What happened? Did I get the result I wanted?
  5. Notice the internal result. A positive emotion like satisfaction, confidence, and/or exhilaration signals that my new thinking and behavior was consistent with my AdultLeader.

Closing the Leadership Gap is a leadership practice that can become a habit.